Anniversary

"It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls." --Unknown

Today is the 6th anniversary of DD17's diagnosis. If you're touched by major illness, especially cancer, you never forget certain dates. For some, it might be the day of diagnosis. For others, it might be the day remission is declared. And for others, it may be the last day of treatment.

I will never forget the day our lives changed, nor the days leading up to it. Eleven days of progressively alarming symptoms. Eleven days of doctor appointments, emergency room visits, and a strange sense of foreboding that matched the frigid, dark January weather. All culminating in a rapid diagnosis and emergency brain surgery once we entered a major academic medical center.

I once read that most parents are very, very angry with their pediatrician after a brain tumor diagnosis, because what should be obvious after the fact is clouded in uncertainty during the onset of symptoms. I read that most pediatricians will only see about 1 or 2 children in their entire careers who present with a brain tumor, so their hesitancy to come to the obvious conclusion is understandable.

Still, I am thankful. I know for our family, life will never be the same. Maybe on the surface, but we look at things differently now. We know how short our time together is. We know life can change on a dime. And all of us say "I love you" very, very easily.

Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread: The Result

It was good. Not great, but good. It has potential.

By the time the bread was ready to bake, the oven already held two chickens. So, I had to bake the bread on the top rack, which may have affected the final result...a bit dense, maybe a bit undercooked in the middle. But the flavor was decent, and I can see the potential in adding the other grains Bittman suggests.

After aging a day, the bread seems more like a quick bread, with the consistency of banana bread. The recipe does say this version doesn't rise very high, and mine certainly didn't after 24 hours. Then again, my house is cold this time of year, even the kitchen, so that may be part of the problem.

I will try this again for sure. It was almost no work.

One Year

It's been one year since I've started this blog. What a strange start it was, too. I was feeling hopeful and positive at the 5-year mark, but you know what they say. Life happens when you're making other plans.

So my goal for year two remains the same: pursue and chronicle healthy living while raising a family after cancer strikes. Maybe, just maybe, it will be food for thought for someone else somewhere. And at the very least, it may keep my writing skills sharp.

Late to the Party...Bittman's Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread

I've written before how hard it is to buy good bread with few additives and no nuts. Homemade bread is the obvious answer, but realistically it's more an occasional occurrence than a regular event.

But I do like to experiment with bread baking, and I'm finally going to try Mark Bittman's recipe in Food Matters. I'll be honest...I tried making his Hybrid Quick Bread, and it was a disaster. The kids wouldn't touch it, and I didn't like it very much, either. It was tough and had no flavor. Maybe I'll try it again, just to figure out what went wrong.

Anyway, I won't reprint the recipe for Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread, but it's a 12-24 hour project (mostly just letting the dough sit around) and I started it today. I'll try to post part two tomorrow, but meanwhile, here's how the dough looks right after mixing (I cheated and gave it a knead or two, and I added a cup of cornmeal instead of the third cup of wheat flour):

International Delurking Week 2010

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Update on the War on Cancer

Yesterday NPR had an interesting interview with Dr. Jerome Groopman of Harvard Medical School and the author of The Anatomy of Hope and How Doctors Think. He gave his assessment of the so-called War on Cancer and several points stood out for me:

• Cancer has proven to be a tenacious enemy. We are not yet winning the war, but we have won some battles.
• There are ongoing studies on the role of inflammation and even infection as a possible precursor to some cancers. When DD17 was first diagnosed, a nurse relative spoke with a doctor friend at her hospital who suggested some brain tumors in children could indeed spring from an infection earlier in life. I had never heard of this at the time, but we know that infection can cause cervical cancer, so why not brain tumors?
• Cancer treatment varies widely across the country. Access to a major, university medical center is access to cutting-edge surgical teams and treatment options. I am so very, very glad we are within an hour of wonderful hospitals. During treatment, I often wondered how parents coped when they lived far away from major hospitals. Traveling for treatment must be incredibly stressful, expensive, and disruptive to the whole family. And staying local may be settling for substandard care.
• The role of vitamins is potentially dangerous in cancer patients. I struggled with this one for a long time, and still wonder. I've always given the kids a multi-vitamin, but stopped giving one to my daughter when I couldn't find consistent information on the pros or cons of vitamin supplementation. Dr. Groopman is blunt: "Cancer cells love vitamins...because it feeds their growth."

Dr. Groopman's books (at least the two I've read) can be difficult to read. They present true patient stories, and not all of them end well. But I guess that's reality. I received The Anatomy of Hope soon after DD17's diagnosis and couldn't finish reading it. Many of the patient stories ended badly. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't our story, and each cancer journey is unique.

I've found oncologists to be, if not exactly pessimists, not optimists either. They never promise you anything. Sometimes, you just want a nugget of hope, but their clinical training keeps them grounded in black and white, when sometimes we are just searching for some shades of gray.

The full interview with Dr. Groopman can be heard here.

ScreenIt.com and Choosing Family-Friendly Movies

Our family rarely (okay, almost never) goes to the movies. Instead, we'll wait for movies to come out on DVD and watch them at home. The older two don't really go with friends, either...it's just not their type of entertainment...too passive, perhaps. But younger DS13 hangs with a movie-going crowd, and it's become a problem. This is a tough age when deciding which movie is appropriate for him to see. I'm very conservative in what I'll allow for entertainment, and dislike having to shell out cash and have my kids exposed to what I consider objectionable content. Most PG-13 movies contain a scene or two that I'd rather my son didn't see.

Thankfully, there is ScreenIt.com to take the guesswork out of choosing a movie. You can subscribe to the site, but if you scroll down to the bottom of the screen and click on the "No thanks" button, you still get sufficient information to help you decide which movies to allow your kids to see. I don't subscribe and find the free information very helpful for the amount of movies we see. Both current and past releases are reviewed.

Parenting is hard enough, and the entertainment world feels like the Wild West, so it's great to find a site that makes it a little bit easier to raise children.