Migraine

Another one. Lately they've been lasting 48 hours, or two nights. Today I pushed myself to drive 40 minutes for my allergy shots, and was hoping to feel lucid enough to food shop on the way home, but really, really, couldn't do it. (I probably shouldn't have been driving.) I had to come straight home and take more meds, which put me on the couch but didn't really knock the migraine out. The current meds just seem to dull the pain enough for me to almost stand it until the migraine wears itself out. I like Imitrex much, much better but my doctor took me off of it because of the risk of side effects.

My migraines started about 10 years ago. I feel really, really sorry for anyone who has had them since childhood. And unless you've had one, you have no idea how bad they are nor the (temporary) havoc they can wreak on your schedule and life.

Quick Sauteed Spinach

We must eat spinach at least three times a week, especially lately. That's because I've been craving it, which suggests to me I must need whatever nutrients it contains. Spinach is rich in Vitamins K, A, and C, as well as iron. Of course, the old Popeye cartoons spring to mind whenever I make spinach...maybe it will help my biceps and I can lay off the weights!

Prevention magazine printed a tasty spinach recipe a few months ago which I've made several times, and will probably make again tonight. Although the recipe calls for baby spinach leaves, I've successfully used frozen spinach. I know I've mentioned this before, but I always pick up several bags of frozen organic spinach when I food shop. They're an easy way to keep this vegetable handy. And honestly, the spinach E. coli scare of a few years ago makes me a bit squeamish towards fresh spinach.

The Prevention recipe has you saute some sliced garlic in a bit of olive oil for about a minute. Then you add 1/4 cup of raisins and 1/4 cup of chicken broth (you could use water) and cook until broth is evaporated, about 1 or 2 minutes. Add 1 lb. of baby spinach (this amount is flexible, but fresh spinach does cook down to almost nothing), and stir until wilted, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, and drizzle with 2 tsp. of honey.

A Walk Through a Nature Preserve

Today was a lazy Columbus Day. DD18 had school, but the boys were home. We took S13 to the local Audubon Society Sanctuary, although that involved some discussion. He didn't want to come without his brother, but S16 had homework. And I think S13 maybe just doesn't want to hang with his parents...hmmm, a new development for sure.

Anyway, we went and had a lovely, peaceful walk. I don't think we'd been for a few years (shame on us, it's so close by) but life gets busy and we almost never have free time on the weekends anymore. And I'm not a huge fan of the place in the summer, what with the poison ivy and mosquitos and ticks. It's much more interesting in the other seasons.

In the Fall, the leaves are turning and some have already dropped due to our hot summer and stressed trees. The views across the marshes and lake from the boardwalk are clearer with a few less leaves. Today, since it was in the mid-60s, we saw so many turtles sunning themselves on lily pads or rock islands. One island was covered by turtles, and it was funny to watch other turtles swim up and try to climb on, only to fall off back into the water since it was so crowded.

We also saw three huge swans nesting in the woods off the marsh. Once, a few years ago, we had come upon one on a path and it hissed at us as we tried to pass by. They are sort of scary, although beautiful.

A wave of melonchaly came upon me as we walked with S13, remembering all the walks we took when the kids were smaller and in awe of nature. But today I did catch glimpses of the little boy hidden in the big thirteen-year-old body. He couldn't resist tossing sticks into the water and watching them float downstream. And he couldn't help but run off the paths and climb onto the big boulders in the woods and shout excitedly about the view from up there.

We didn't go in to the Nature Center because it was closed, but next time we'll go check out the mini wildlife museum in the basement, with stuffed specimens of local animals. It looked like the building had had some renovation work, and I suspect the museum might have benefitted, too.

We had let our membership lapse, but I will renew now because I'm reminded how precious these places really are and how much they need our support.

Food at College

So D18 is not loving the food at college. I never thought of her as picky, but I think she's evolved into a thoughtful eater. Where is the food coming from? Are the apples local? Anything organic? She toured enough colleges last year to realize these are selling points for some schools, and would like her school to become more sensitive to these issues.

A bigger problem is that the "nut-sensitive" cafeteria has bread with walnuts sharing the same toaster as nut-free bread. And the cream cheese, butter, and jellies aren't individually wrapped, so cross-contamination is a distinct possibility.

I suggested she voice her concerns to various higher-ups, so now she's on a committee to address food issues. Heh. Her school values activists, so I think she's fitting in just fine. She's not sure what the time commitment is yet, but she's raised some valid points that were, surprisingly, never considered before, so she's determined to make a difference. After all, everyone needs to eat and looking forward to mealtime is sometimes the best part of the day (if I'm remembering my college days correctly).

There are some good things about the cafeterias. The fresh fruit smoothies are apparently awesome, and the omelet station uses cage-free eggs if you ask. The stir-fry station has a varied assortment of veggies and sauces, and lots of protein choices. The pasta station is pretty good, too, from what D18 says. Yesterday she discovered that the grill serves turkey burgers along with beef burgers, and she might investigate further to see if veggie burgers are offered, too. Dessert is off-limits, since it's not made in-house and therefore could contain nuts, but the nut-allergic kids make do with soft-serve ice cream when they want something sweet.

Finally Fall

Big sigh of relief....it's finally cooled down here. I think we've had almost five months of hot weather, and we're all sick of it. Dare I say it? I'm even tired of fresh tomatoes. Lately I've been loving squash at every meal, in any form: baked, steamed, mashed with or without butter and brown sugar. I don't think I could live in a place without a change of season. A change in menus, clothing, where to exercise (inside or outdoors), recharges me.

Today it's flu shots for the boys. This year there is no panic, and not even a rush. D18 got her shot easily enough at school, and I'll probably just get one at a local pharmacy. Then fingers crossed for a healthy winter, for all of us.

Back

I'm back, and I'm going to try to re-start this blog. Well, it's always been at the back of my mind, but summer interfered. My computer is in the center of the house, and privacy is nil. And the College Stuff took up a lot of my energy, mostly mental, but it effectively zapped my intentions to keep blogging.

So, quick recap: D18 is safely ensconced in university, and loving it. Mostly, she loves the academics and has immersed herself in her schoolwork. But she's also found the students to be friendly and welcoming, which suits her personality, and she's joined several extra-curricular groups. (Well, her lab partner is the cut-throat pre-med horror story you always heard about, but she's learning to ignore her.) As a a non-judgemental person, she is accepting of all types of people, as long as they are kind. I think she was always like this, but I think her brain tumor experience heightened her sense of what's valuable in humankind.

S17 and S13 are back at it in school and sports, and I'm finding myself at loose ends. I've flirted with the idea of a part-time job, but we're skirting a fine line with financial aid as we look ahead to S17 applying to schools next year. This is an on-going debate in the college parent circle...working or not working, saving or not saving. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I guess I'll devote more time to this blog if I can and see what transpires as we go forward.

Go-To Meal

Everyone should have a go-to meal...the meal for which you always have the ingredients at hand, and that all family members will eat. Hopefully, it's healthy, economical, and simple to prepare. This is the meal you pull out when you're too tired to think or too busy to cook elaborately.

My go-to meal is pasta with meat sauce and spinach. We like it for its taste (most important with kids), convenience, and ability to fill up teenage boys in a single bound.

There's nothing earth-shattering about my choice, but I do think it marries a kid-favorite with an adult sensibility. I add frozen, organic spinach to the sauce for a good dose of veggie nutrition, as well as color. I also keep small packages of grass-fed chopped meat in my freezer just for this purpose. You don't need a lot of meat for this dish, so better quality meat goes a long way.

I saute the defrosted meat in a splash of wine and olive oil, along with some finely diced onion or even shallot. When nicely browned, I add a can or two of diced tomatoes. Of course, you could add fresh tomatoes this time of year, but this recipe is about convenience. Add a pinch of sugar (to cut the acidity of the tomatoes, if necessary). A leftover rind of grated Parmesan or Romano cheese is good, too. I keep the rinds in a bag in the fridge...they are good for flavoring soup, also.

Bring sauce to a simmer, and cook as long as possible. The longer you let this simmer, the more flavor it will develop. Add a bag or two of chopped, frozen spinach near the end of the cooking time, and reheat until simmering again. Serve over pasta, preferably whole grain.

Today is one of those days. I know I will not feel like thinking about dinner eight hours from now, so this sauce is simmering along while I Get Things Done.

Still Hot

Well, there's a brief break today in the form of downpours. But the heat and humidity have been relentless and zaps my energy. Even the kids are tired of it. No one even wants to go to the beach, preferring to stay home in the air conditioning. Something's wrong when it's so hot you don't even want to be out during the only time of the year you can really be out.

Oh, I know, other people deal with extreme heat all the time, but if you're not used to it, it's a tough adjustment.

Still, it feels like the summer is flying by, and we're not really capturing all of it. Perhaps that's just my issue, and maybe everyone else is just living every moment fully. Or maybe it's just that I'm starting to see fall catalogues show up in the mail and back to school sales in the flyers, and it just adds to the sense that time is so fleeting. Why does our society always yearn for the next thing, as opposed to staying in the present? (I would add that a lot of parents are like that too, rushing the next milestone--boy/girl parties, for example, for preteens!--instead of enjoying the very brief time of childhood.)

Resuming Knitting

The Heather Hoodie Vest from the Fall 2009 issue of Knitscene has been sitting in the corner of the closet since last fall. I've been feeling a bit guilty at never having finished it, so I pulled it out today and got re-acquainted.

I can't believe I stopped knitting it when I did. (Not sure why I'm surprised...this usually happens to me, stopping a project after finishing almost three quarters of it.) I am half-way through the second front piece, then just have to do the bands and the hood.

I must have gotten tired of it. Or, more likely, I was overwhelmed with the College Application Stuff. I know I shouldn't have been. DD18 is very self-sufficient and never had to be reminded of deadlines. Really, she ran with the whole thing.

But that's the way I am. I get so into life events. Sometimes the fringe activities get pushed aside so I can live and breathe the main event. A little balance would be better, I think, and emotionally healthier. Do you just accept the way you are, or do you fight the tendencies and try to change, at least a little? I'm not sure which is the right answer, and sometimes you only have energy for the one big thing going on in your life, and that's OK, too.

Regardless, I'm determined to finish this project so I can move on to something else. Eventually, it will get cold around here and it's nice to already an already-finished item ready to wear.

Summer Black Bean Salad

Last year I came across this recipe in a book I'd taken out of the library. I can't remember the name of the book, only that the author was one of those famous doctors that claim to turn around health issues by diet changes. Interesting read, I do remember.

I LOVE this recipe. It's fresh, summery, and convenient with a southwest, Mexican taste. I made it yesterday, and should have doubled it because we went through it quickly. It's the perfect salad or even main dish for a hot, summer day.


Black Bean Salad

One 14-ounce can black beans, drained
1 cup sweet corn (frozen or fresh)
2 large ripe tomatoes, cubed; or 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
2 teaspoons cumin
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
Juice of 3 limes
Zest of 1 lime

Mix all ingredients together and serve at room temperature or chilled.

The recipe suggest adding a bit of extra virgin olive oil or cubed, cooked chicken to make a complete meal. I never use jalapeno peppers, so I substituted a 1/2 teaspoon of hot red pepper instead.

I forgot how good this salad is, but the start of corn-on-the-cob season around here reminded me. I'm sure I'll be making it weekly for the rest of the summer.

It's Hot

The east coast is currently experiencing a heat wave. We have air conditioning, so we're not suffering terribly. Yesterday we went to the beach, along with a million other people. And it was a holiday, so it was more crowded than usual. It was okay until about noon, when it got very, very crowded. When the walk to the water means having to step on other people's towels, you know it's time to leave.

But we liked this beach a lot...the sand was fine and the water was clear with no seaweed or rocks. A couple of big fish swam by, but that's it. Kind of cool, actually. Nice waves, too. I think we'll return to this beach again. It had a family vibe, and they appeared to be strict about enforcing the rules. Even though I have teenagers, I don't necessarily want to spend lots of time with other people's (badly behaved) teenagers.

Grilling Portabella Mushrooms

Where have they been all my life? I know I'm late to the party, but this year I started buying and grilling portabella mushrooms. Wow. I never really believed the hype...that they were a good substitute for a burger on a bun, that they were meaty, that they were a good source of protein.

It's all true. They have a unique taste and are indeed a good stand-in for a burger. Grilled, the edges are firm yet crispy, and the center is juicy. They have plenty of flavor (not like any other mushroom I've tasted before) and don't even need toppings (but I add them anyway). Of course they are chock full of nutrients, like most other mushrooms. And the protein content does help to fill you up, so you won't really miss the meat.

To grill, simply brush with some olive oil on both sides and place on medium, direct heat. Flip once or twice when grill marks appear...you can't go wrong. If you overcook them, they are still juicy but they'll shrink a bit.

Place on a bun and top (or not) with lettuce, tomatoes, and a dollop of mayo with some horseradish stirred in. Along with the usual grilled fare this fourth of July, I'll be serving these as an option for those of us who prefer to eat a bit lighter and healthier.

Summer Starts

We're starting to get into our summer groove. It takes about a week or so for everyone to figure out how to get along and what to do after nine months spent mostly apart during the day. I like some structure to the day mostly for my own comfort level, but also because I think too much down time leads to boredom and (for DS13) video games.

Not that I think boredom is bad. I think all kids (and even adults) need the time to re-group and think about something different. You can only do that if you have nothing to do. When we are all going 100 mph in different directions, it's hard to re-energize. Sometimes you don't even know how tired you are until everything stops.

Still, we have enough going on in small chunks that the summer will go by too quickly. Today is such a beautiful day here, full of the promise and potential of summer. And yet, I feel a sadness that it will pass quickly as it always does. I remember when the kids were small and the summer days seemed endlessly long and nightfall never came. It was as if we could never get them into bed fast enough after a day of activities, boredom, naps, meals and more meals, arguments, constant supervision, and never feeling as if anything got done. Did I enjoy that time? I don't remember! I know I felt they were growing too fast, and yet not fast enough. I was so tired and it was so much work.

And now it's not so much work and one is poised to leave the house and another is not far behind. Life is not constant and things change, but for now I will enjoy the summer time and try not to think too far ahead. It's all good.

Strawberry Picking

Yesterday we went strawberry picking at a local farm. We love our local farms, and try to support them as often as possible. This one particular farm has been around for a couple of generations, and like most smaller farms, has gone to u-pick and birthday parties in the barn and corn mazes to try and stay afloat. Still, the owners are down-to-earth types, not boutique farmers. (I'm thinking of the type that ditch the corporate world and run what I consider "designer" farms with speciality produce and cute gift "shoppes." Not that there is anything really wrong with that--more credit to them for trying this life--but it seems less authentic to me.) Hmm, that sounds like my immigrant roots are showing.

A few years ago, when I started out on this health journey with my family, I gave up strawberries unless they were local....which means we only eat them for a few weeks in June. I had read so many scary things about imported pesticide-laden strawberries and strawberries from big production farms out west that use migrant workers...things unfit to print. It really grossed me out.

Too bad, because strawberries are such a healthy fruit. A cup of strawberries contains more vitamin C than a cup of orange juice. They are rich in antioxidants and fight inflammation that can lead to a host of diseases.

Local berries usually have more flavor, since they are eaten soon after they are picked (in our case, just 1/2 an hour later!). If there are any left and they start to get too soft, I'll toss them into smoothies or yogurt.

Since the season is so short, we'll try to pick a few times a week and eat our fill. Maybe I'll try freezing some, to use later in the year in muffins or smoothies or even stirred into yogurt. It won't matter much that they'll be mushy after thawing.

Graduation

Graduation came and went. I didn't even cry, although husband did. I don't know, I think I'm sort of cryed out. And this is a good thing. It's good to be here, at this point in time.

Now I'm just trying to plan a graduation party. It's a little stressful since I don't usually throw parties, but it's OK to step outside of my comfort zone. And it's important to acknowledge this especially important milestone and invite the people that have been supportive and kind through our journey.

Now if they would just RSVP already!

Another Mother's Day

Mother's Day came and went and I'm always most grateful for the handmade cards containing thoughts and thanks from the kids. We're not into big gifts for these occasions, preferring token items of affection. Still, the following YouTube video sums it up best for me: it's the ordinary days of motherhood that are most precious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0

Bloom Where You're Planted

The Scholarship School won. Well, we thought it would, just because it's too hard to turn down that kind of money. But DD18 has a very soft spot for the The Other School, so she wrote them a nice note declining admission but saying if she wasn't happy she'd reapply and hoped they'd accept her again.

I told her to "bloom where you're planted." But of course, we could always transplant her if necessary. I could not stand to see her unhappy.

Now, my next worry (you knew there would be one, didn't you?) is the roommate selection process. Unless we're still to receive more paperwork, the form only asks three simple housing questions. That doesn't seem right.

And, due to overcrowding, The Scholarship School has forced triples for 30% of the freshmen class. It's hard to remember back to my college days, but as a mother I think that's way too many kids in one small room. Not sure how DD18 will feel, but for now she is not worried. I'm thinking of her health, of course. More germs, less sleep.

This letting go process is very hard. Yes, I am a helicopter parent.

Decisions

We're still trying to decide between The Scholarship School and The Other School. (Well, there's a third attractive option as well as a very attractive waiting list option, but we're putting them out of our minds in order to simplify the decision.)

Seems like a no-brainer to choose The Scholarship School. Guaranteed free tuition for eight semesters as long as her GPA stays above 3.2. She can go abroad for a semester, and it's paid for. She can cross-register at other area colleges, including at The Other School, and it's paid for. She has no work-study. Any scholarships she might receive (which we won't know about until June) can be used towards room and board because of the laws concerning merit aid, which isn't true for grant monies.

The problem is that she loves The Other School. It's a beautiful campus, and some might argue "more elite." It feels like a victory to her to have been accepted, especially after the worries about her brain cancer and some of the possible problems she might have had with cognition. (And might still have, some day in the future.)

But it's so expensive. And we have other kids that will go to college. The math just doesn't make sense. Their view of what we can afford and what they think we can afford are very different. She will still go to its Admitted Students Day (even though I wonder if that's wise), if only to try to convince herself that she's better off at The Scholarship School.

Admitted Students Day

We spent yesterday at The Scholarship School. It was Admitted Students Day, and although DD18 was familiar with the school, it was a chance to see the school in all its glory. Most schools, I think, put their best foot forward for these events. Lawns are mowed, flowers are blooming, and everyone is really nice. They are trying to woo the student, and separate the parents from their hard-earned dollars. Well, that's not our problem here, so we could relax and let them try to impress us.

The Scholarship School is a Geek School. It has no pretensions to coolness, unless it's in a nerdy way. It has few winning sports teams, at least at the moment, so you wouldn't attend this school for its sport scene. But it does pride itself on easy access to professors and opportunities for undergraduate research. I do think DD18 would be happy there...the social pressures would be mimimal and most students enroll for the academics. It does not have a reputation as a party school, although I'm sure parties can be had if you want them.

We have another Admitted Students Day at another school in a few weeks, and then DD18 will have to make a decision. I know she's not looking forward to it...it feels like a life-changing big deal, but I tell her not to stress over it. It's a good problem to have, considering the kinds of problems she could have.

Catch-Up: College

This blog has lagged a bit while we've gone through that agonizing time known as college acceptance season. I haven't talked much about college on here. In general, I haven't let myself think too far ahead. It's just the way I try to stay sane.

After all, last year happened. Just as DD18 approached what is arguably the most critical time in her high school career (second half of junior year), she needed more brain surgery. Her toughest courses were on hold, AP exams were on hold, SAT testing was on hold: we just didn't know how it would play out. But she came through that with grit and determination and plowed through everything doggedly, as if she had a lot to prove. This cancer thing and its hateful side effects were not going to stop her if she had her way.

I think we can breathe now. She did well. She did very well. We are so thankful...in the toughest, most competitive college application year ever, she has very good choices (even great choices). She even has an offer of a full scholarship at one school, where they acknowledged her "significant personal resilience." I cried when I read that.

We never had any expectations...we thought it would work out, that she'd hopefully end up going somewhere close to home. There are a lot of choices around here, and there are a lot of ways to live your life. She didn't lose sleep over this phase in her life. I think she was just going to accept whatever happened. What other choice do any of us really have?

She might have made it look easy. I know she never complains about the hand she's been dealt, and it's been so hard keeping my mouth shut when I listen to other parents whine about the unfairness of certain teachers or coaches or other "obstacles" put in their kids way.

I don't know what the future may bring, but I do know I am very grateful for the opportunities presented to her. And I know she will take full advantage of everything offered her, because she has a deep appreciation for where she's been and how far she's come.

Water Woes

The Northeast has seen the 2nd wettest March on record. Flooded roads, houses, basements...even the schools and office buildings are leaking. We, however, were patting ourselves on the back yesterday, glad *we* had no problems.

Until this morning.

Husband left for work at 9:00 a.m., after working in his basement office. All was well at the time. About 10:30 a.m. I went down to put in a load of laundry, and there was at least an inch of water all over the basement. It wasn't even raining anymore, but we guess the water table was just too high and the water was seeping up from the ground. What a mess. I called husband and he rushed home. (I would so live in a condo if I were single.)

I called around frantically trying to find a pump, while husband used the shop-vac to keep ahead of the water. Every big box home improvement store in the area was sold out of pumps (utility pumps, which are stand-alone, as opposed to sump pumps, which are permanent, I guess). I called around to all the mom-and-pop hardware stores in the area, and all of them were sold out, too. The in-town hardware store said he sold over 250 pumps yesterday afternoon alone. Finally, I located a new-ish hardware store in the next town over, and they had some.

It looks like we are keeping ahead of the water now, although it's still very wet down there. I don't think we'll have any permanent damage, since most things are kept off the floor--just my thing about basements. The rug in the office/finished room is indoor/outdoor, and should dry just fine. I don't think mold will be a problem, and we'll run a dehumidifier. Thankfully, the next 7 days look to be sunny and warm, yay!

And here's a big cheer for the local hardware store, for coming through for us. Support your local stores...you never know when you'll need them.

Lucky

Last week the New York Times Well blog had an article by a columnist and cancer survivor on the inadequacies of words describing the experience. I ended up posting my least favorite comment about cancer: "You're so lucky."

Sometime after DD18's treatment ended, I found myself with way too many emotions to neatly categorize and file away. Not a new phenomenon, I'm sure, for cancer survivors nor those who care for them. I was having a conversation with a close relative, when I broke down and sobbed over all that I felt DD18 lost: her health, her innocence, her balance, good vision, and a general optimism and hope in the future borne of an idyllic childhood. Yes, treatment was "over" but everything else was still there. The elephant in the living room.

The close relative proceeded to chastise me and informed me I was "lucky" because my daughter was still alive.

Lucky? The dictionary definition of "lucky" is "resulting in good by chance." I felt rage bubble up in me...this was luck? This was "good"? By "chance"? Of course it was wonderful and I was thankful that DD18 was in remission, but I did not consider myself "lucky." In fact, I felt cheated out of the normal worries that mothers have, only to have them replaced or overshadowed by big, scary, unthinkable worries.

In some ways, the word "lucky" seemed to minimize everything, from the world-class surgeon who had to get too close to the brain stem to remove the tumor; to the radiation oncologists who had to ensure the targeted radiation and its inevitable "scatter" would steer clear of areas of the brain not affected by the tumor, or optic nerves, or even the ovaries; to the oncologist who planned the chemotherapy and then monitored and adjusted as issues cropped up.

Maybe a bit of "luck" has something to do with it, but skill and experience and education has to count for much, much more. And, I believe, prayer. There were lots of prayers from so many people, many of whom we did not even know.

"Luck" is random, not planned, not purposeful. Getting a tumor is a kind of "bad luck." So should surviving it be a kind of "good luck?" Don't know, but it sure doesn't feel like it to me. Kind of reminds me of that Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times."

"Lucky" means I won the lottery. A friend commented soon after diagnosis, when I mentioned the very long odds of a child getting a brain tumor, "Why couldn't you have won the lottery instead?" Indeed.

No, I don't view myself as "lucky." Nor could I say I was "happy" when treatment ended. Thankful, yes. Of course. But "lucky" doesn't seem to have a place in my cancer lexicon--it feels inadequate and more than a beat off in describing the cancer journey of a child.

Banana Muffins

I was on quite the muffin kick last school year. This year, not so much. However, I was tempted to turn a banana bread recipe I saw recently into muffins, and the result was so good I thought I'd share the recipe.

Andrew Weil's Banana Bread uses whole wheat pastry flour for a tender crumb. While a bit difficult to find, it's worth seeking out. I tweaked the recipe a bit, cutting down the honey to 1/3 cup and omitting the nuts, obviously. (In my first try, we all thought 1/2 cup of honey was too sweet, especially with really ripe bananas.)

Prepare as written, except divide batter among 12 greased muffin cups. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.

Update and Perspective on Hospitals

Mom's home, and I have a new appreciation for good health insurance. She's needed a bit of care, and a visiting nurse is dropping by every other day or so to check the incision and assess Mom's progress. So far so good. Really, what do the elderly do without close relatives or decent insurance to ensure a standard of care?

And I have to say that I'm seeing a marked difference in care between either 1) the hospitalized elderly and hospitalized children, or 2)between small community hospitals and major medical centers. I'm not sure where the difference lies, but (and I hope I don't get flamed for this) it seems to me that the nurses are younger and sharper and quicker in the major hospitals. In all DD18's twelve hospitalizations, I almost always felt the medical staff was on their game. Not so at the smaller community hospitals, where my parents tend to go. Or perhaps the difference was that I never left DD18's side. I was her advocate and I felt I was on watch for medical errors. This was partly because of several well-publicized incidents in the last few years at various medical meccas around here...I questioned everything (politely) and felt part of the "team," which was encouraged at her hospital.

It feels differently at the smaller hospitals. Maybe around here they suffer from an inferiority complex, which I can understand. I really do try to be respectful, but I get impatient with vagueness and the constant paperwork (some of this stuff should be computerized, if only to minimize medication errors).

And maybe I'm biased (OK, I definitely am) because DD18 had symptoms that, while not exactly misdiagnosed, were dismissed or minimized by this small hospital six years ago. (I still remember the triage nurse insisting DD18 might have a urinary tract infection while she sat clutching her head in pain.)

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DS16 ended up with strep throat, so now he's on antibiotics and feels much better. I think this bug went through the other two in a milder form earlier this month. At least, it never occurred to me to get them checked for strep. Regardless, they are fine now, and before antibiotics, strep frequently ran its course (with some casualties, I'm sure).

Exercising While Sick

For the high school athlete, late winter means tournaments, playoffs and state or national meets. For my son, unfortunately, this year it means illness. DS16 is suffering from a high fever, sore throat, and chest congestion. While I don't think it's serious, it does mean he has to skip a spot he's earned in a regional meet.

He's been under some pressure from other kids to just show up and run anyway. His coach agrees with me that it's not a good idea in general, and I would never let him try it. He most likely wouldn't do well, probably infect lots of other kids, and more importantly, prolong his illness.

But it does pose an interesting question: should you exercise when you're sick? Well, it depends.

Experts generally agree that with a mild illness, exercise might help you feel better. And some people swear that they "sweat out" the start of a cold by working out. (I think getting some outdoor exercise can help, especially this time of year. Even a brisk walk helps me clear my head, literally and figuratively.)

But is it safe? Turns out there is something called the "neck rule" that you should go by: if symptoms are above the neck (sniffles, sore throat), you can exercise if you feel up to it. But if symptoms are below the neck (aches and chills from a fever, chest congestion), you should skip the workout.

And this is scary: exercising with a fever can worsen your illness and perhaps lead to more serious conditions like pneumonia or even respiratory failure.

As disappointing as it is to miss an event you've trained months for, DS16 is taking a few days off, at least, and using that time to catch up on the schoolwork he's missed while he's been home sick. He'll be well-rested for the start of spring sports, and there will always be more races. Nothing is more important to me than keeping him healthy. And I think he gets it...he has the big picture in his mind.

Now I just hope I don't catch this thing....

What a Week

Trying to take care of older parents while one of them is hospitalized has been all-encompassing. My worry-meter was working overtime as I unwillingly stepped into my role in the "sandwich generation." (Who ever thinks their parents will get old?) Mom was in for back surgery while Dad needed to be supervised even though he'd deny it. But I think it's almost over. Mom should be home tomorrow and will likely recuperate just fine.

Back pain is tricky. I almost didn't quite believe how much pain she was in, and I should know better. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't there. She developed a synovial cyst in the spine, and the pressure on the nerve was tremendous. Hope I never go through something like that. I *have* had back pain, quite often, and of course it's never due to anything glamorous (tennis match, triathalon--yeah, right). It's usually because I bent down too quickly to pick up a stray sock.

On the home front, everything went well so at least that part of my life was calm.

Choices

For various reasons, some serious, some not, both my parents spend a lot of time in hospitals and at doctors' offices. Maybe it's like that for the majority of older people, but it's become glaringly obvious to me that choices earlier in life have a huge impact on our later years. And yes, I *know* nothing's guaranteed in life. You could do everything right and still face devastating health issues. I grapple with that every day when I look at my daughter.

But I do know that, given two paths, why wouldn't you choose the one that's more likely to tip the odds in your favor down the road? Nothing appeals to me as much as having good health. I hate illness and hospitals. DD18's illness took its toll on me, and motivated me to make drastic changes in my lifestyle, as well as our family's. Sure, we all indulgence in things not-so-good for us, but I think at this point we come back rapidly to what is good. I think it's taken root in the kids. The challenge now is to make sure good habits stay ingrained, so that when they leave the house they will recognize they have choices, and hopefully choose the better ones most of the time.

We will all spend some time in the hospital at some point. But wouldn't it be great if that time were for things like knee replacements from overuse (exercise) rather than the results of a lifetime of bad choices.

Finishing the Challenge

My self-imposed challenge went well, I think. Thursday night I made chili, and added two bunches of fresh kale as in this recipe. I had ground beef (90% lean) in the freezer, as well as canned pinto beans in the cupboard, and served it over brown rice. The kids prefer cornbread with chili, but I was out of cornmeal.

Last night I made Baked Shells Casserole, which is pretty good. (I made a much simpler tomato sauce, but followed the recipe in spirit.) I'm not a huge fan of Rachael Ray...her cooking always seems "mutt-like" to me, as opposed to being purely ethnic, but then again we are a nation of mutts, so to speak.

I consider my challenge finished, although I still have to get through the weekend. Not sure yet how the meals will go, as we are very busy and will likely be out of the house for long stretches. So I may indeed have to run to the store at some point, or we'll settle for some sort of egg dish. I liked my challenge...it was good to clean out some items, and stick to guidelines. We have so many supermarkets within a short drive that it's easy to get distracted and buy more than I need or change a week's worth of menus on a whim. And I was successful in that I used all whole food products, nothing overly processed....the week felt sparse in a Lent-like way, but we were not deprived at all.

DS16 is in a state meet this weekend, and all our plans center around his activity. It's a drive to get to the big indoor venues that can hold so many kids, so I anticipate we'll be busy and tired by Sunday night, and vacation's end. I'm glad we had a low-key week at home, and the kids got lots of rest before returning back to school and the fresh batch of germs from vacationing classmates! In my experience, the end of winter usually results in several colds and other upper respiratory infections, due to our tired immune systems.

We've been watching the Olympics, and DD17 noted all the McDonald's and Coca-Cola commercials, and said she doubted the athletes really consumed those products. Well, I don't know about that...I personally can't believe all the junk high school athletes eat. Eventually it will catch up to them, but then a lifetime of bad habits may be ingrained. I really think youth sports should have a nutrition component, and I'm not talking about sports drinks or energy bars. Given the budget cuts all public schools have experienced in the past few years, I am not holding my breath.

Day 3 Food Challenge

We broke fast last night (Ash Wednesday) with a white bean soup, roasted potatoes and beets, and boiled beet greens. All soup ingredients were on hand, while the beets were purchased yesterday, along with other vegetables and fruits.

The soup was easy and very good, even without the pancetta the recipe called for. The recipe used canned white beans, but I had dried beans so used those instead. It wasn't really much additional work...a "quick boil" softened them up nicely for use in the soup. I had received a Williams-Sonoma catalog before the holidays, and it contained a few recipes, including this one, which is a pretty standard bean soup. In a stockpot, saute chopped onion, garlic, carrot, and celery in a little olive oil until softened. Add the beans and about 5 cups of chicken broth* as well as fresh thyme. Cook until beans are soft and then puree the soup with a hand blender (a great invention). Add grated Parmesan cheese and lots of black pepper. Yummy!

*Apparently chicken broth is "allowed" during meat-free days of Lent. Who knew? I Googled it on a whim, thinking I'd have to use vegetable broth instead, and was very surprised to note that animal "products" like broth or even bacon fat are OK'd by the church powers. You learn something new every day. And, I hasten to add, I don't really think Lent is all about the "rules." It's bigger than that, obviously.

I saved the beet greens and boiled them as suggested by The World's Healthiest Foods, my encyclopedic food bible. And you know, the kids actually like beet greens. You never know until you try it!

Pasta Con Tonno

Last night's challenge was easy: Pasta con Tonno, or Pasta with Tuna. This is a classic southern Italian pasta dish, originally using fresh tuna. It's very simple, like most Italian dishes...just pasta, tuna, garlic, olive oil, white wine, and fresh parsley. Other variations add some chopped tomato or even a bit of anchovy. Amounts vary according to taste and what you have on hand...I never measure and generally have to triple everything to create the heaping mounds of food that will satisfy three hungry kids. It's important to add a generous amount of the pasta cooking water, so the dish is not too dry, as well as plenty of salt and black pepper.

Tonight's meal will consist of the several packages of dried beans I found in my freezer, supplemented by some just-purchased beets and beet greens. I will probably roast the beets along with some potatoes I already had on hand.

Food Challenge

I'm challenging myself this week to shop from my cupboards, fridge, and freezer. However, I'm quantifying this as "challenge lite" because I've given myself permission to shop for fresh fruits and vegetables and dairy. So this is mostly about coming up with a daily main course (dinner) from foods I already have in the house.

Why this challenge? Several reasons:

I *hate* food shopping. My normal schedule is to get out of the house early in the day and shop before it gets too crowded. With the kids home this week, I can't get out as soon as I'd like.

I have a well-stocked pantry. I'll shop and buy non-perishable staples like brown rice, beans, pasta, canned tomatoes, and then forget I have them as I get side-tracked by tempting sale items. It's good to rotate the foods in the cupboard.

This time of year is uninspiring, food-wise. Sadly, I hit the creative (kitchen) wall right about now. Produce is definitely not local. We're getting a bit tired of the heavier meals but it's way too cold to think about lighter, fresher dishes.

Lent starts this week. Ash Wednesday is a day of fasting (or mostly fasting, for those not familiar with Catholic rules). Meat is not allowed, nor is it allowed on Fridays during Lent, so that's two days where non-perishables come in handy. And luckily, I have fish in the freezer so that's an option, too. The notion of "giving up" something fits in with this challenge, too.

Yesterday, I made salmon burgers and spinach brown rice casserole, all from ingredients I had on hand. I added corn as a side, also, from my freezer.

Tonight I will make a pasta dish with canned tuna, DD17's favorite meatless pasta dish. Most of this week may end up being meatless, now that I think of it. Oh well, that would be healthier for all of us, I'm sure.

Vacation Week

Another vacation week...the school year starts to fly after the holidays. This week DS16 is starting Driver Ed, which begins with a week of in-class instruction. Since it is so time-consuming (9-3:30 every day), there's really no other choice than to sacrifice a vacation week. I can't believe I'll soon have a second teenage driver in the house. However, the process is so long and involved now that the laws have changed in our state that hopefully it will be quite a while before he gets his license (phew).

DD17 has, as usual, a lot of homework to plow through, but we will hopefully get some clothes shopping in as well as other fun stuff. I think she feels like she can breathe now that all the college applications are submitted (now we just wait). Senior year is very stressful, and I think more so than when I was that age.

I call DS13 the "drag-along child" since he ends up doing whatever the older two do, so he may end up shopping with the girls this week since his brother will be occupied. We'll probably make a few library trips, since he's my reader (or the one with the most time to read for pleasure). Other than that, I feel a week of just hanging out is good for him, since kids are so overscheduled. It's OK to be bored. (That's when I was most creative as a child.) Just got to keep the electronics at bay...

A PBS Show about a Cancer Drug

Last night I was bored and turned on the t.v., not really expecting to find anything interesting to watch (we don't have cable), and I stumbled upon a PBS program about a new cancer drug, IT-101. The show chronicled the story of a chemical engineer who was moved to help his wife battle breast cancer. His scientific journey and discoveries resulted in a nanoparticle drug just now finishing Phase I clinical trials.

I am not a scientist but I was fascinated by this story and awed by the drug's success. The Q & A with the drug's creator is very interesting, and the episode itself is engrossing, especially if cancer has ever touched your life.

Snow Day

School's cancelled here, even before it starts to snow. Guess they expect almost a foot of snow, and don't want to chance trying to get the kids home later today. This is our first snow day this school year; the other snowstorms all fell on the weekends. DD17 is excited because seniors don't have to make up snow days in June.

Last night I made a turkey for dinner. I'd been feeling overwhelmed with what feels like the huge mountains of food I need to cook to satisfy three hungry teenagers. Given that I mostly avoid processed foods and we almost never eat out*, it's a lot of work. And given that winter meals are generally heartier (this, I believe, is natural and what our bodies need), it often feels like nonstop cooking. So while food shopping, I saw the turkeys in the meat department and a light bulb went on over my head: hmm, big meal...but then, lots of leftovers! Can't say they're all thrilled with this, but hey, mothers look at leftovers with appreciation.

So, thankfully, turkey sandwiches and maybe even turkey pot pie today...I love when I can cross the meal preparation chore off my list, or at least lessen it somewhat.

*Michelle Obama announced her anti-obesity campaign yesterday, and in one of her interviews said she encourages families to eat home-cooked meals once or twice a week. ??? I dunno, even when I was a working mother, I did my best to cook most nights of the week. (Well, I did make it home by a reasonable hour....) Who can afford eating out that often? And losing that much control over what we put in our bodies? (And I don't care who cooks--Dad can, too, if that's his skill set, or even the older kids.) Maybe I shouldn't judge, but I feel something's out of whack if the family has time to eat at home only very infrequently.

Online Math Tutoring: A Good Use of Screen Time

It seems like every month or so another study comes out describing the incredible amount of time kids spend online. Well, other than doing the obvious parental-type controls (no computers in bedroom, limiting texting, nanny-controls on the computer, etc.), I think we have to accept and even embrace our digital world. It's not going anywhere, and lots of it is good.

Here's an example. DD17 is taking A.P. Calculus. It's a fast-moving class with really bright kids, and she struggles with math. She's worked really, really hard to earn a spot in the class, and is doing well. However, she does need extra help understanding the difficult material, and the teacher is the impatient sort with only once-a-week extra help days.

So DD17 took it upon herself to search out options online, and found a favorite: justmathtutoring.com. When asked why she prefers this site after trying several others, she says she likes the videos (she's needs to see to understand) as well as the tutor's voice (she decided she could listen to him much longer than she could listen to some others).

Well, I think it's great. I was an introverted, math-phobic child, and a private online tutor would've been a dream come true. So when the scary studies about screen time make headlines, I think it's worth noting that the pros definitely outweigh the cons, at least in my book.

Stonyfield Giveaway

Stonyfield Yogurt had a neat giveaway advertised on their lid labels: free copies of the new edition of Anticancer, A New Way of Life. Apparently, the promotion lasted only minutes before the book was gone.

But what a great idea to promote a great book. I recently saw the author on a morning talk show, and he was really moving and positive, yet honest. I wonder if the new edition has anything interesting or groundbreaking in it. I'm debating ordering it and donating my version to the local library.

This book empowers us to take control of our lives and our diets to harness the potential cancer-fighting abilities in our own bodies. I highly, highly recommend it. And kudos to Stonyfield for helping spread the word.

Ryvita Crispbread--My New Favorite Snack Food

When the kids have a craving for something crunchy, they reach for the packages of Ryvita Crispbread I keep in the cupboard. I discovered them recently, and fell in nutritional love. I cannot believe how few ingredients they contain: rye, salt, and sometimes sesame seeds or oats--wow. No chemicals, no preservatives. Ryvita, where have you been all my life?

Research suggests that whole rye products provide numerous health benefits, like lowering the risk of Type II diabetes, preventing gallstones, keeping cholesterol levels in check, and protecting against breast and colon cancer.

Trying to find whole rye products can be difficult, and rye bread (like other supermarket breads) often contain too many scary preservatives. Ryvita Crispbread is a great way to get this grain in our diet. We like it plain, topped with melted cheese or nut/seed butters, or even with some smoked salmon. The other day I had some for lunch, topped with veggie refried beans and a dollop of salsa. I'm so excited to have discovered a wholesome, simple food right on the supermarket shelf, in the midst of so much junk. And I'm even more excited that the kids seem to have developed an appreciation for real, simple food, without all the added artificial flavors.

Breathing Normally Again

I feel like I can breath again. DD17's oncology and radiation visits went well, but most of all her scans were clean. (Well, we haven't received the spinal MRI "all-clear" but I've never been especially worried about that.)

For some reason, I had been very anxious about the appointments. Most likely because last year I was finally feeling relaxed at the 5-year mark, and then look what happened. And I tend to read too much into expressions, comments, looks and even scurrying MRI technicians (why are they hurrying with those scans in their hands, never mind that there are usually a half-dozen people getting scans at the same time). It feels like it's all about me (or DD17), so I have tunnel vision.

I think the oncologist knew we were nervous, because she called us on her way home from the hospital yesterday to say she'd personally gone down to MRI and had the scans reviewed in front of her so she could call us. Of course, from past experience, I know that bad news travels fast and we've never been allowed to even leave the hospital without hearing it.

So, today feels like a good day, mostly. There's a tiny part of me that always expects a phone call from someone saying a mistake has been made, but I've come to accept that I can't trust my instincts all the time. That a finely-honed sense of anxiety will always cloud my vision where DD17 is concerned.

And truthfully, as the oncologist reminded us, an MRI for DD17 is really just a shot in the dark. Her particular tumor is a fast-growing type that wouldn't necessarily show up in a once-a-year MRI. Still, as long as our insurance will pay for it, the oncologist recommends we continue them.

The doctor spoke for the first time about the future. Since about 75% of children are now surviving cancer, long-term survivor clinics are springing up across the bigger hospitals. She said DD17 can be her patient forever, or until she decides to switch to an adult oncologist. Patients can choose either/or. The oncologist is part of a major teaching hospital, so it doesn't matter...the doctors are all connected. And she sends kids to other hospitals or specialists as needed. I sense the doctor thinks they are all in this fight together.

Who knows the problems these kids may face? For DD17, we know she will likely start mammograms at age 30, due to the scatter from spinal radiation. And she will probably need to start seeing a dermatologist yearly, for skin cancer checks. We know that radiation puts kids at higher risk of leukemia, so bloodwork will always be in the cards. As her radiation oncologist said to her, "You will see doctors for the rest of your life." Indeed, a small price to pay.

Midweek

The older two have midterms this week, which means a week of half or truncated days. And then turning around and heading back to school in the afternoon for activities. Mom the chauffeur here, since we don't have spare cars lying around for DD17 to use.

DS16 has his second (bad) cold in a month. He eats well and generally sleeps well, so I can't figure out what's going on. Of course, my instinct is that it's something I should be able to "fix" so I'm quite perturbed. He's a distance runner, so I'm wondering about stuff I've read lately about runners...that they're more prone to upper respiratory infections. It seems there's a point where excessive mileage suppresses the immune system. Marathoners are famously prone to illness the first few days after a race. He doesn't fall into that category of course, but I find the whole phenomenon interesting. Or it could just be that half the school is sick, as usual.

The sun is finally shining and it's above freezing! DD17 says she's happy to be home midday and see the sunshine flooding the house. She even said that while she didn't enjoy being sick or recuperating from medical issues, she did like being home during the day. OK, glad that made her happy.

Next week we have two days of hospital visits. Monday's a visit with both the radiation oncologist and pediatric oncologist. Tuesday is the MRIs. (They couldn't make everything fit in one day.) I'm trying not to think about it.

Thoughts on Health Care Reform

It's cold and snowy here in the Northeast, and I find myself pondering the health care debate. I have no idea whether or not the current plan under consideration in Washington is any good, nor do I doubt its complexities and hidden perks for various groups. I've tried to see various sides, and one thing is certain: there is no consensus out there, not among the medical profession, not among insurance companies, and not among family and friends.

But I do know what I would like to see:

• Guaranteed coverage for pre-existing conditions. DD17 hopefully will be out in the world in a few years, and she comes with medical baggage. Through no fault of her own, she will need monitoring and expensive tests and many more medical appointments than the average young adult. Other than relapse, my worst fear is astronomical medical bills due to weak or no coverage. In 2004 alone, it cost $250,000 to save her life and then keep her alive. We have great insurance...but it was not completely free. The nickel and diming was still expensive.


• The freedom to choose a physician and hospital. Once you enter the world of illness, control is an illusion. But it's important to feel you have a choice in the person and place helping you fight the battle.


• And I want the physician to make the decisions, not the insurance company. At one point during treatment, the oncologist said if we ever had any worries about possible symptoms (even triggered by a bad dream), she would run whatever tests we needed to put our fears to rest. That's what I want to hear from a doctor, especially one treating my child.
  

Finally, wouldn't it be great if there was a thoughtful approach towards health care? An approach that supported healthy choices before pharmaceutical solutions are necessary, one that encouraged proactive health management instead of reactive? Personal responsibility plays into this for sure, but support and encouragement from clinicians is important, too. Coincidentally, or not I guess, Andrew Weil's new book touches on these issues. I haven't read it yet, but plan to.

Well, that's one mother's vision, born of experience and worry. Walk a mile in my shoes, and you might feel the same way, too.

Whole Roasted Carrots and Parsnips

It's easy to overlook the root vegetables in the supermarket. Uninspiring in their boiled state, and requiring lots of peeling and chopping, they usually get relegated to soups and stews as a flavor enhancer. But if you roast them, another side emerges. Crispy, creamy, and nutty flavored, they suddenly gain respect as a side dish.

I'll roast just about any vegetable. Tossed with a bit of olive oil and sprinkled with coarse salt, vegetables can be as tasty as potato chips. Recently, I read that researchers believe that whole carrots are more nutritious than chopped, so I decided to roast tonight's carrots whole. And because I had parsnips on hand, I added those to the pan, also. I scrubbed and peeled both vegetables, than placed them on a baking sheet and sprinkled them with about two tablespoons of olive oil and some kosher salt. I roasted them in a 450 degree oven for about 40 minutes, turning once.

Carrots are a good source of Vitamin A and help protect against heart disease and cancer. Parsnips, a relative of the carrot, is rich in potassium and contains even more fiber than its colorful cousin.

These are so good and hopefully extra-nutritious. It's going to be tough resisting them until dinner.

Anniversary

"It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls." --Unknown

Today is the 6th anniversary of DD17's diagnosis. If you're touched by major illness, especially cancer, you never forget certain dates. For some, it might be the day of diagnosis. For others, it might be the day remission is declared. And for others, it may be the last day of treatment.

I will never forget the day our lives changed, nor the days leading up to it. Eleven days of progressively alarming symptoms. Eleven days of doctor appointments, emergency room visits, and a strange sense of foreboding that matched the frigid, dark January weather. All culminating in a rapid diagnosis and emergency brain surgery once we entered a major academic medical center.

I once read that most parents are very, very angry with their pediatrician after a brain tumor diagnosis, because what should be obvious after the fact is clouded in uncertainty during the onset of symptoms. I read that most pediatricians will only see about 1 or 2 children in their entire careers who present with a brain tumor, so their hesitancy to come to the obvious conclusion is understandable.

Still, I am thankful. I know for our family, life will never be the same. Maybe on the surface, but we look at things differently now. We know how short our time together is. We know life can change on a dime. And all of us say "I love you" very, very easily.

Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread: The Result

It was good. Not great, but good. It has potential.

By the time the bread was ready to bake, the oven already held two chickens. So, I had to bake the bread on the top rack, which may have affected the final result...a bit dense, maybe a bit undercooked in the middle. But the flavor was decent, and I can see the potential in adding the other grains Bittman suggests.

After aging a day, the bread seems more like a quick bread, with the consistency of banana bread. The recipe does say this version doesn't rise very high, and mine certainly didn't after 24 hours. Then again, my house is cold this time of year, even the kitchen, so that may be part of the problem.

I will try this again for sure. It was almost no work.

One Year

It's been one year since I've started this blog. What a strange start it was, too. I was feeling hopeful and positive at the 5-year mark, but you know what they say. Life happens when you're making other plans.

So my goal for year two remains the same: pursue and chronicle healthy living while raising a family after cancer strikes. Maybe, just maybe, it will be food for thought for someone else somewhere. And at the very least, it may keep my writing skills sharp.

Late to the Party...Bittman's Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread

I've written before how hard it is to buy good bread with few additives and no nuts. Homemade bread is the obvious answer, but realistically it's more an occasional occurrence than a regular event.

But I do like to experiment with bread baking, and I'm finally going to try Mark Bittman's recipe in Food Matters. I'll be honest...I tried making his Hybrid Quick Bread, and it was a disaster. The kids wouldn't touch it, and I didn't like it very much, either. It was tough and had no flavor. Maybe I'll try it again, just to figure out what went wrong.

Anyway, I won't reprint the recipe for Almost No-Work Whole Grain Bread, but it's a 12-24 hour project (mostly just letting the dough sit around) and I started it today. I'll try to post part two tomorrow, but meanwhile, here's how the dough looks right after mixing (I cheated and gave it a knead or two, and I added a cup of cornmeal instead of the third cup of wheat flour):

International Delurking Week 2010

I almost missed it! If you read this blog, consider leaving a comment and let me know you've visited and why. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks!

Update on the War on Cancer

Yesterday NPR had an interesting interview with Dr. Jerome Groopman of Harvard Medical School and the author of The Anatomy of Hope and How Doctors Think. He gave his assessment of the so-called War on Cancer and several points stood out for me:

• Cancer has proven to be a tenacious enemy. We are not yet winning the war, but we have won some battles.
• There are ongoing studies on the role of inflammation and even infection as a possible precursor to some cancers. When DD17 was first diagnosed, a nurse relative spoke with a doctor friend at her hospital who suggested some brain tumors in children could indeed spring from an infection earlier in life. I had never heard of this at the time, but we know that infection can cause cervical cancer, so why not brain tumors?
• Cancer treatment varies widely across the country. Access to a major, university medical center is access to cutting-edge surgical teams and treatment options. I am so very, very glad we are within an hour of wonderful hospitals. During treatment, I often wondered how parents coped when they lived far away from major hospitals. Traveling for treatment must be incredibly stressful, expensive, and disruptive to the whole family. And staying local may be settling for substandard care.
• The role of vitamins is potentially dangerous in cancer patients. I struggled with this one for a long time, and still wonder. I've always given the kids a multi-vitamin, but stopped giving one to my daughter when I couldn't find consistent information on the pros or cons of vitamin supplementation. Dr. Groopman is blunt: "Cancer cells love vitamins...because it feeds their growth."

Dr. Groopman's books (at least the two I've read) can be difficult to read. They present true patient stories, and not all of them end well. But I guess that's reality. I received The Anatomy of Hope soon after DD17's diagnosis and couldn't finish reading it. Many of the patient stories ended badly. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't our story, and each cancer journey is unique.

I've found oncologists to be, if not exactly pessimists, not optimists either. They never promise you anything. Sometimes, you just want a nugget of hope, but their clinical training keeps them grounded in black and white, when sometimes we are just searching for some shades of gray.

The full interview with Dr. Groopman can be heard here.

ScreenIt.com and Choosing Family-Friendly Movies

Our family rarely (okay, almost never) goes to the movies. Instead, we'll wait for movies to come out on DVD and watch them at home. The older two don't really go with friends, either...it's just not their type of entertainment...too passive, perhaps. But younger DS13 hangs with a movie-going crowd, and it's become a problem. This is a tough age when deciding which movie is appropriate for him to see. I'm very conservative in what I'll allow for entertainment, and dislike having to shell out cash and have my kids exposed to what I consider objectionable content. Most PG-13 movies contain a scene or two that I'd rather my son didn't see.

Thankfully, there is ScreenIt.com to take the guesswork out of choosing a movie. You can subscribe to the site, but if you scroll down to the bottom of the screen and click on the "No thanks" button, you still get sufficient information to help you decide which movies to allow your kids to see. I don't subscribe and find the free information very helpful for the amount of movies we see. Both current and past releases are reviewed.

Parenting is hard enough, and the entertainment world feels like the Wild West, so it's great to find a site that makes it a little bit easier to raise children.